What Chocolate Taught Me About Manifesting

I am currently pregnant, which means lots of cravings! A few weeks ago, I was craving chocolate. I daydreamed about brownies, ice cream, and other chocolate laden things. I didn’t know quite when I would get some chocolate or in what form, but I knew it would be soon.  Interestingly enough I got a pleasant surprise: that evening, my uncle bought me some dutch cocoa cookies from the store unexpectedly, without knowing of my chocolate daydreams. I bit down into the soft cookies and had a moment of euphoria. My chocolate craving was totally satisfied in a way I hadn’t even thought of (I had no idea the local Walgreens sold these amazing cookies or that my uncle would buy them for me).

This situation has been on my mind the past few days because it has been quite the aha moment about manifesting or attracting experiences that I want. I went through this situation and decided to apply it to lots of situations in my life because it was so simple to understand.

 

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Here is what chocolate taught me about manifesting:

You gotta get to the essence of what you want:  I knew that I wanted chocolate. Though I had thought about brownies and candy, the core of what I wanted was chocolate. If someone had given me strawberry candy, I wouldn’t have been satisfied. Similarly, you have to know what you really want, distill it down to it’s purest form. Some people call this desire, others call it your WHY. For instance, if you want to travel to France, it may be that the core of that desire is to explore or see new things. More on why this distinction matters in a minute. 

Let those doubts go. I had no doubt in my mind that I would get some chocolate. I knew that chocolate products were available to me. I knew where I could access them. It was just a matter of when it was going to happen. Now replace chocolate with whatever desire you have, and it is no different. Thinking about writing a book? Well there are millions of examples of people who have done it. Resources abound on the internet to make it happen. It is just a matter of you believing that it can, which evidence supports for sure. 

Be open to all of the options. Let’s get back to the essence of what you want that I mentioned earlier. If I had fixated on getting say chocolate brownies, I would have totally missed the amazingness of cocoa cookies. Fact of the matter is, I wanted chocolate. Brownies would have been great, but there were other options I didn’t even consider. Let’s take the travel to France again. Now, I am not saying don’t desire to go to France, but if your desire is to explore new things, then you may be able to start to fulfill your desire much sooner. You may get an opportunity to go to a new museum. Or find a travel deal for something in a different state. Lo and behold, you actually manifest your desire and have lots of fun while you get to the big thing which is France. Or you may realize that it wasn’t about getting to a specific location, but about feeling a certain way. 

That last takeaway was my biggest moment of clarity. Sometimes I have gotten so darn specific about what I want, in the name of being clear, that I actually close myself off to greater possibilities. My brain can only conceptualize a finite amount of things based on past experiences, images, and thoughts. Naturally, I start to construct an image of what I think is ideal based on this limited awareness. Visualizing is great if you stay open and remember what your core desire is. Also, you can’t get all messed up about process. You may desire to go to France on a luxury cruise with a group of girlfriends. But what if a great opportunity comes up for you to stay in a home and explore on your own? Sounds like it would still be amazing, just different than how you imagined it. 

Sometimes we manifest things and don’t even know it because we get more focused on how something appears versus how it makes us feel. We fixate on how it has to happen versus it actually happening!  It took chocolate to drive this point home for me. Desiring more is really is about living more fulfilled lives. It’s so important to understand there are a million, trillion ways to live that great life we desire.

Here’s to chocolate and learning to get exactly what we want by being open to the infinite amount of doors that can get us there. 

Love,

Kandice

Reverb#14: Certainty

I every spend December doing some written reflection of the year by participating in Reverb which is hosted this year by Kat McNally. The premise of Reverb is simple: each day a prompt is given and you answer openly (and maybe even share like I am doing on my site). Its a simple, refreshing end of year practice.

Reverb BB

Today’s prompt: Today, I invite you to take a quiet moment to consider: what can you say right now with certainty?

The first words that erupted from my heart when I read this question were: I am exactly where I am supposed to be. 2014 has been full of transitions for me from relocating to Texas to building my business to changing my thinking. At each juncture, I would often wonder why things weren’t moving “faster”. I have goals and dreams that I want so badly to manifest and sometimes things happened slower than I anticipated. As I sit here, I know with a peaceful certainty that I am right where I am supposed to be.

Everything that has happened over the past 12 months have grown me, prepared me, and opened me to the endless possibilities that exist within me. Every struggle, challenge, obstacle was a lesson learned and cherished. Those detours, those mistakes, are all a part of the grand production that is living life. I don’t have to worry about if I “should” have been further along because right now where I stand is absolute perfection.

I open this question to you, now. What can you say with absolute certainty?

xo

K

 

 

 

Why Aren’t You Telling Your Story?

What stops us from writing? What keeps us from doing the one thing that we feel like we must do? What keeps our stories buried inside of us wanting to burst out?

The number one reason why great people like yourself aren’t sharing your story is this: You don’t believe your story matters. 

We think our story is too much, not enough, too dramatic, not dramatic enough, boring, too serious, or not serious enough. All of these thoughts and fears that convince us that our story doesn’t matter. That our story shouldn’t be shared. That people won’t “get” it.

I have been there time after time. I used to think my story wasn’t good enough. That I hadn’t struggled enough in my life. That no one wanted to hear my story. I decided to start consistently writing a few years ago.  I started writing on my blog about vulnerability, love, and living each day extraordinary.  Magical things happened as a result.  People connected with my story. They were touched by my words. They were glad that I had written. They were inspired by what I was experiencing. They were compelled to share their stories.

It begin to dawn on me that my story is MY story. Since I have experienced it, felt it, and witnessed it, it most definitely matters.  When I share it without apologizing, I am more connected to myself and to everyone around me. Our stories are what unite us. Our stories are our truth.

If you are having writer’s block or feel like you can’t share your story because its too (fill in the blank), please know that is not the truth. The truth is: Your story is extraordinary. You are a miracle. Your story matters. Your vision matters. Your life matters.

Write it down. Share it. Connect with the world.

We need  your brilliant perspective of the world. We need our words to heal. We need your story to inspire us.

We need YOU.

Love,

K

 

Everyday Extraordinary: Strumming Chords

Last month, I committed to learning how to play the guitar. I hadn’t practiced in a while so  I decided practice for an hour yesterday. I had avoided practice because for the past month I have been struggling.  My fingers don’t seem to move in a coordinated way between the only two chords I know.  My husband keeps telling me to stop trying to master something and just enjoy the process of learning. I heard that in my head as I picked up the guitar yesterday afternoon.
I started off with the E major chord and strummed the guitar just fine.  I tried to switch to A major and my fingers were totally on the wrong strings and frets. I quickly frustrated wanting to quit after like 5 minutes.  I decided to stop strumming and practice moving my fingers along the fret. I did that for a few minutes, then added the strumming. Only this time I strummed very, very slowly to give myself time to move my fingers. I played E major. I strummed. Fingers didn’t quite get on a major and an interesting (aka horrible) not came out.
Instead of stopping in frustration, I kept going . E major. A major. This next time my fingers were on the right strings but they weren’t pressed down hard enough to get a rich sound from the strings. I still kept going. My fingers started sweating. My fingertips were aching, but I kept going. Even if I didn’t catch the write note, I kept moving my fingers. E major. A major. tapping my foot. Focused intensely. Strumming slowly. After about 30 minutes, my fingers started working a little better began getting some muscle memory for the 2 chords. Of course the notes didn’t always come out right but I kept going. I even started singing a little line “Keep going, don’t quit. Keep going if its a little messed up.”
This is exactly what life asks of us. To keep going. Like the marathon runner who wants to give out in the last leg but they keep going.  Everyday keep going. Keep spreading out and expanding. Keep moving beyond your current state. Keep moving beyond your current story. Keep creating. 
Make it a practice to cultivate the deep, creative desires of your heart. 
 Keep listening to spirit. Even when its messy and imperfect keep moving onwards. Keep expanding outward. 
Make your move. Take your step. Live your love. 
xo
K

Looking in the Mirror

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The baby lifted her head to the mirror while she was playing with her toy. She observed her image, at first with a bit of confusion, before a huge smile burst onto her face. A smile of recognition. That is me. She looked back down to play with the block, but then quickly raised her head up again at the mirror. This time with no confusion, only a huge smile and a loud fit of laughter.

Watching the baby do this, something dawned on me. We start our lives completely enjoying our image. It is as if we can easily recognize that we are pure joy.  Over time, because of societal messages, our families comments, friends, and everything in between, we start to dislike looking at our image, and not just the physical one.
Let’s return back to that child like joy.  Let’s begin to see ourselves with new, fresh eyes where we acknowledge all of the goodness that is inside of us. Let’s  honor the fact that we are amazing beautiful right now in every way.
It’s my hope that today you will look in the mirror ,both physically and metaphorically, beholding a smile at the awesomeness that is YOU.
After all, this is the complete and utter truth.
xo
K

Fixing the Leak

There was a large pool of water on the floor in my apartment, signalling me to call maintenance. In a few seconds, the maintenance engineer idefnitied our shower head as the source of the leak. Turns out lots of water had been leaking while we took showers. This was also why our water pressure had been so low. Funny thing I had complained about the low water pressure but never did anything about it. Just accepted it. If we hadn’t found that pool of water, we may have had a much more horrible problem (ie serious mold).  We fixed the link and now the shower pressure is optimal. So much to be learned from this everyday extraordinary moment:

A small leak can cause big issues. Thing is the leak was easy to fix, the maintenance man did it in like 2 minutes. If you don’t deal with the small leaks in your life (ie a constant though pattern, a person who drains you, not honoring your time ) it is going to leave a myriad of issues in its aftermath.

The small leak is totally fixable. Simple shift. Simple action. Saying no. Saying yes. Showing up. Sending that email. Taking a breath. Change in thought.

Discomfort shows up to get us to fix the leak. If we hadn’t had this large puddle of water we would have stayed content with the water pressure and not dealt with the issue.

Sometimes we get content with a weak flow. We dim our light. We hold back ourselves in some way and get used to things being like that until it gets too uncomfortable.

When you stop the leak, things flow so much better. Just like our showerhead now flows strong, so will whatever you are doing. Take action and then things start happening quicker. You show up more vibrant and create more goodness in your life

Take some time and think about what is my small leak? Then shift it now.

Here is to learning from the leaks and embracing our power.

K

Want more Everyday Extraordinary? Get my 21 day guide of reflecting, noticing, and learning. 

Everyday Extraordinary: Guest Post by Risha Abston

Today’s guest post comes from Risha Abston. I put out a call for people to share their Everyday Extraordinary moments and she was the first brave soul to share! 

I’ve been swimming pretty regularly since the beginning of this year. It’s an activity that I enjoy immensely because it quiets my busy mind for a while. I’m amazed at the clarity and revelation that comes when your mind is focused on one activity. While I swim my concentration is centered on the one activity of breathing in and breathing out-basically not dying So here, I’m sharing ten lessons from the pool-not surprisingly they apply to life outside the water too.

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1. You can’t take in your next breath until you release the one you’re holding. If you need more release what you have.

2. Push off before you’re ready- it builds you.

3. Sometimes it’s good to keep count of your laps. Sometimes it’s good to go until you
can’t go anymore. Don’t get caught up in a number.

4. STAY IN YOUR LANE!

5. It’s okay to slow your pace. You’re not in competition with anyone. Don’t kill yourself being in a hurry.

6. I was feeling sluggish in the water. I realized my kick was getting lazy. There is always room to improve. Look for areas to tighten up your form for improved results.

7. Fear is a MONSTER!! Irrational fears-wow the bottom of this pool is a long way; you’re going down; are the lifeguards paying attention– can pop out of nowhere and knock you off your rhythm. Fear is designed to stop you and is useful to protect you from imminent danger. In the moment remind yourself that you are ok.  Then keep going. Master the monster!

8. When you reach the wall, consider it a place to redirect yourself, not necessarily to stop.

9. When the water is choppy, go deep beneath the waves. The chaos is usually closest to the surface.

10. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat. It comes naturally. You have all the grace in the world!

Risha Abston is CEO and Founder of Manna Confections. Learn more about her yummy treats at : http://www.mannaconfections.com/

Want to share your #EverydayExtraordinary story? Send me an email to vulnerabilityissexy@gmail.com !

 

When it Rains it Pours

Last week it was raining here in my part of Texas. My husband dared me to run outside in the rain. I didn’t want to at first, but decided to be spontaneous. We ran a short distance and came back inside. My face and body soaking wet but a smile on my face. ( I would suggest you do it one of these days when you have a chance. )

The old adage goes”When it rains, it pours.” We have all had those rainy days. Where it seems like we can’t catch a break. Situation after situation tests our patience and challenges our will.  If it’s not one thing, then it’s another.

We can resolve to do more than just “tough it out”.  We can dive into our experiences, being present to what is coming up during our tough times. We can mindfully ask questions that will allow us to continue growing. What is this teaching me?  How can a seemingly negative situation change me for the better? What is symbolic about what is happening right now? How can I get clarity in this situation?  Most of all, we can stay grounded, recognizing that we are not powerless even in the toughest of weather.

Dance in the rain, both literally and figuratively. Let the drops cleanse and nurture you.  Embrace the course that life is running right now.

May you find peace during your downpour while you anticipate the brilliant sunlight that is waiting on the horizon. 

xo

K

Into the Water: Everyday Wisdom for Extraordinary Living

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I went to Barton Springs with my hubby while we were on vacation in Austin, TX. It was a hot day and the cool water was a welcome relief. I stepped into the sand, cold water sloshing around my ankles. I began walking further, the water getting deeper. I stepped onto a rock that was covered with moss and it felt extremely slippery underneath my foot. I backed back up into the sand.I didn’t want to take a chance falling or hurting myself. My husband urged me to try again, telling me to put my weight on the back of my feet as he had did.

For about 5 minutes, I complained about not wanting to get any further into the water. I contemplated walking back to the cottage. My husband took  a hold of my hand again and guided me in patiently. I started to walk on the rocks and immediately felt myself wiping out, only being held up by my husband’s strong grasp. I got my footing together and finally started to ease into the deeper water.

Slippery step taking is what we do all of the time.  The next step can be mysterious. It can feel like a slippery slope. What if I fall and mess up? It’s enough to make you want to stay in the familiar territory that you know. But then something happens that I  felt over and over again in my life. There comes a time when I have to stop treading the shallow, comfortable waters and immerse myself in the deep.  I don’t This deep that beckons me. This deep that holds my greatest desires. When I feel like I may burst if I don’t move forward. I know that I must take this next step that keeps calling me forward into this deep sea of infinite possibility.

Take your step.Fall and get back up. Stay put and throw a tantrum when necessary. Ask for guidance and accept it wholeheartedly when it arrives.

Continuing taking steps.

Wade around in your genius spirit that is abundant in everything. 

xo

K

 

#EachDayMatters, Join me for a Free 7 day challenge of noticing the Extraordinary in Everyday Life. Starts Monday, September 8th. Want to get in on the challenge? Sign up here.