It’s so hard to believe that Reverb13 is coming to an end. What a lovely journey it has been this time around. Special thanks to Kat McNally for making all of this possible and putting so much time, love, and effort into making Reverb13 happen!
Reverb13, Day 21 Prompt:
Today, I’d like you to revisit what you wrote on 1 December on the first day of Reverb13. How does that compare to where you are now?
Then, without thinking too hard about it, grab a pen and some paper and finish the following five sentences:
2014 is going to be MY YEAR because…
In 2014, I am going to do…
In 2014, I am going to feel…
In 2014, I am not going to…
In December 2014, I am going to look back and say…
On the first day of Reverb13, I was just recovering from a cold (read the full post here) and waiting to get my new week started on a healthier more energetic note. Ultimately I was excited and ready to step into the new year more grounded in my truth and my fullness. Now, after 21 days I just realized that I was taking lots of leaps and steps into my truth. Since that post I clarified some goals for myself and started working on my first offering of 2014. I also shared my prompts on my blog and embraced the support and community from my fellow Reverb13 buddies. During Reverb I shined and danced just as I am hoping to keep doing in 2014. Writing and reflecting over these past 21 days has opened me up even more to the dance of life.
2014 is going to be MY YEAR because… I’m going to build upon this strong foundation that was built in 2013 and shine. I will step into my starring role and live a life that absolutely love with open eyes and and an open heart.
n 2014, I am going to do…more things that make my heart absolutely sing and soar.
In 2014, I am going to feel…Excited. Pure Joy. Grounded. Clear.
In 2014, I am not going to…Complain as I go through the journey. I’m also not going to stay beyond the present moment.
In December 2014, I am going to look back and say…I’m celebrating going full time with my creative business. I feel like I’m living even more of my dreams.
Thanks for being on this journey with me. Onward and Upward.
Forward is the only direction.
The mirror never lies, but everything in it is backwards.
Look at what you see in the mirror. How does it change if you view yourself with eyes that can only look forward?
I see a woman ready to take more leaps, scared a bit, but a twinkle in her eye. I see years of learning and growth that have brought her to this moment , which will bring her to more moments of realization and actualization.
I see a woman who has grown comfortable in her own skin. Who has fully accepted and embraced her body- her beautiful brown skin, the curves, the natural hair. Taking it all in and loving that which makes her unique.
I see a woman standing taller, feet planted with glimmers of light in her eyes.
I see me. In this mirror simply being: Vulnerable. Ready. Accepting. Unapologetic. Free.
Reverb13, Day 19 Prompt:
The Buddha said, “You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
In the past year, I have been on a mission to understand and practice self-compassion, which is sometimes defined as “extending compassion to one’s self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering,” and what I have learned has made me realize that this practice is at the heart of everything.
How will you practice self-compassion?
I will practice self-compassion by giving myself more timeouts. You know those times when I let myself sit down and just let go. This year I found that I would try to work and keep going during those times when I was utterly flailing. And like I used to do when I was a taught 2nd grade, I would tell kids that were having a difficult time or getting frustrated to go sit on the couch in the room, chill out, and breathe for a bit. This kind of timeout wasn’t about shaming them, it was all about making sure they knew that it was ok to take a break when getting frustrated by something or someone.
I will do that for myself. It may be a few minutes or a few hours, but I will give myself permission to take a timeout when I feel like I am on a downward spiral or when it seems like nothing is going right. I won’t shame myself for feeling that way, rather allow the feelings to move on through and give myself some solace and rest in the meantime. Those timeouts may be walking around the block, taking a nap, turning off my cell phone, watching funny youtube videos, or screaming into a pillow. This practice of taking a timeout reminds me that I am indeed beautifully human and that I can honor my own humanity with more gentleness right now rather than later.
Reverb 13, Day 18 Prompt:
I am often surprised where I find peace, it is usually in the midst of chaos.
In the midst of living, did you find moments to breathe? Were there moments that held you in the embrace of peace and quiet and pure contentment?
Did these moments catch you by surprise or did you create the space for peace to find you?
how will you make space for greater peace in 2014?
Sometimes my mind can be really chaotic. Thoughts rushing around and swirling that feel like they won’t slow down. Sometimes things like walking outside or taking deep breaths help me to find some peace but this year one mantra from Tonya Leigh’s blog really helped me cultivate more peace and quiet in my oft-times chaotic life:
“I am responsible for how I feel.”
Repeating that for what felt like hundreds of times a day always gave me peace in the midst of a storm of chaos and mayhem. For whatever reason that affirmation sunk into my bones and made me feel powerfully aware of my role in creating peace in my life. I could choose to feel peaceful at any moment. That affirmation became a encouraging nudge for me to settle into my inner wisdom and become aware of the peace that existed inside of me, the quiet that ran underneath the crowded spaces of my life.
Next year, I plan to take even more responsibility for how I feel by setting more healthy boundaries when I am feeling that need for peace. I also will take some intentional time away in solitude because that is what my souls loves so much and a gift I can give myself. I also am going to unplug more from technology on a daily basis and do activities like painting and reading that always provide me a peaceful space.
Here’s to more peace and goodness in 2014.
Reverb13, Day 17 Prompt:
What word did you select to be your travelling companion in 2013? What gifts did this word bring?
What word will you choose to guide you through 2014? What do you hope it will bring into your life?
My word for 2013 was Wild. I deeply desired to follow more of my passions and feel energized by whatever I was doing. It’s funny how though I didn’t keep that word in front of me consciously, the intention seeped into my activities. I danced more. I laughed more. I went to concerts, visited new places, and had all out, not thinking of the time, experiences with those that were close to me. Heard often was “I didn’t know Kandice had that in her.” And the that was this ball of divine energy that I had been holding back. In essence, it helped me find more authentic connections and is helping me realize the connections that don’t serve me like I thought they did. I plan to get more wild in 2014!
With that wildness, my word for 2014 is Trust. In 2013, I started to trust my gifts and instincts. This year I am diving deeper into trusting myself and letting go of the second guessing. Trusting that I know what I want. Trusting that I am divinely guided. Trusting that I can make my writing and speaking a full time business. Trusting that I can cultivate healthy boundaries. Deep, wild, exciting trust that will bring me connection, abundance, and fulfilled dreams.
And on the topic of trusting, I feel a nudge to make this announcement about my first product for 2014!
On January 8th, I will be launching my e-book/guide: Everyday Experiences, Extraordinary Experiences: 21 Days Noticing, Reflecting, and Learning.
Everyday is Extraordinary if we only notice. My intention is that by sharing the lessons I have learned, it will encourage you to take a deeper look at the subtle and sometimes mundane experiences of life because they are whispering to us all of the time. The book will guide you through 21 days of noticing with true stories and heartfelt prompts. May we learn to see the beauty that is presented to us in every moment.
If you want to be the first to know when it launches, then click here to get on the list (I will only send updates about the ebook!) or follow my blog!
Reverv13, Day 16 Prompt:
Habits and addictions, some are silly, some serious; when we have issues without answers, they can hold us so tight that we stop moving forward with the life we intended.
Were you able to loosen those fetters this year, and if you were successful, how did you manage it? Did you accept outside help, or work alone?
If you still feel that grasp of addiction or hurtful habits, what will you do differently in the year to come?
This year I became more aware that I was really addicted to really negative, gossip like conversation. It was like eating a lot of potato chips: tasted good going down, but didn’t leave me feeling nourished or fulfilled. I really didn’t start think about actually doing something about it until last month because you know what I had become really comfortable having conversations with people in that way. It felt foreign to talk about anything else and I would use the excuse of “We are just chilling out and relaxing.” Yet, I noticed that conversation after conversation would quickly turn from gossip to outright mean and super critical. Silly, funny gossip was the gateway for biting criticism and judging. I could even feel the shift when I was with friends. It would start off as laughing and giggling and then end up feeling exhausting and harsh.
I remember after one particularly scathing session, a friend of mine texted everyone and apologized. That was when I knew I had to make a change to because we were all part of the issue. Even sitting there in silence made me a part of this pattern. With the help of my husband I decided to do a 21 day challenge and not complain and we would support each other in our 21 day challenge. It originally started off as not complaining about my day job, but then it started to take root in other areas of my life. I found myself trying really hard to keep up conversation that actually made me feel good.
I’m at the point now where I have to learn how to deepen conversations even more but know that this will come with time and practice as I do it more in 2014.
What I know for sure is that habits that we don’t like so much can be changed if we commit to making really small shifts in our thoughts and actions.
Here’s to healthier conversations in 2013.
Reverb13, Day 15 Prompt:
Give us a sensory tour of 2013. How would you describe the year that’s passing in terms of:
This year I saw the beauty of nature and the joy of family and friends.
heard laughter, singing, waves crashing, and silence.
smelled apple cinnamon, pumpkin, baked chicken, and lavender.
tasted food that was rich, decadent, and sometimes sweet.
touched that which was smooth, fluffy, and smooth.
This year I sensed the complete and utter wonderfulness of life.
Reverb13, Day 14 Prompt
What was the best decision you made in 2013? What were the results? How will you continue the good work in 2014?
The best decision I made was to move into a 325 sq foot studio with my husband. I was nervous at first because I wasn’t sure we could get rid of so much stuff or deal with each other in that small space, but the results were worth the initial doubt. What resulted was that me and my husband rid ourselves of a lot of physical clutter, but also of emotional clutter as well. I was able to do more things that I wanted because of the money that was saved. We took more road trips, went to concerts, and other great things. And now that I think about it, it really brought me and my husband together in a deeper way too. You can’t run away from someone in that small of a space and have to deal with issues head on. I came to a realization about what really matters in life and the grand scheme of things.
In 2014, I’m not sure if we will stay in this space once our lease ends, but I will continue in this spirit and continue to take risks so that I can do more of what I want in life. I will keep looking at things from a different perspective and staying open to all of the possibilities.
Reverb13, Day 13, Prompt:
The phrase “It takes a village” is often bandied about, in reference to child-rearing, running a business, just about everything. But if you’re anything like me, you may not be a natural born collaborator.
In 2014, how could you explore what community means to you?
It might be a question of sharing the load, asking for help or signing on someone with a complementary skill set. Or it could be about a creative collaboration that pushes you to explore new ideas and media.
Where might the alchemy be?
There is a lot of power in community. This year I found that I really dug into community online via social media, blogs, online courses with groups and forums..and what a rich experience that was and continues to be for me. This time I want to dig even deeper and develop more in person community in addition to the cultivating my virtual community as well.
Next year this will look like attending in person events like book clubs, cultural events, and meetups. I also want to push myself to have more meaningful, engaging conversations that go beyond what is on the surface. I would like to meet new people who push me to think differently. This is where the magic lies and I intend to experience more of that magic in 2014.
Reverb13, Day 12 Prompt:
I’m a big fan of muddy experiences. They become our greatest teachers when we’re wise enough to exfoliate with them; roll around in the deep until we finally feel ready to get clean.
Today, identify something muddy that kept recurring for you throughout 2013, and then ask yourself this: What’s the clear truth underneath this damn mud if I finally wash myself clean?
This year I found myself getting muddy in the experience of doing too much many things at one time. Time and time again I followed this pattern: I would start with a spacious calendar, then slowly but surely say yes too one to many things which I would attempt to do but then crash and burn. This usually was me breaking down and having a melt down, getting physically sick, or feeling super depleted. Time and time again, I did this. Time and time I got muddy and now I’m ready to come clean.
Underneath all of that mud is the truth that it is ok for me to breathe. That it is ok to say no so that I can keep my tank full. That it is ok to have lots of space and only I can give myself that permission, not anyone else. I get to choose how my life goes. More than anything, my being is far more important than the relentless doing.
In 2014, I’m giving myself even more breathing room. More wide open spaces to roam freely. Less packed schedules and more freedom to embrace the spaciousness that my soul desires.
More Being. Less Busy. Full Heart.