Reverv13, Day 16 Prompt:
Habits and addictions, some are silly, some serious; when we have issues without answers, they can hold us so tight that we stop moving forward with the life we intended.
Were you able to loosen those fetters this year, and if you were successful, how did you manage it? Did you accept outside help, or work alone?
If you still feel that grasp of addiction or hurtful habits, what will you do differently in the year to come?
This year I became more aware that I was really addicted to really negative, gossip like conversation. It was like eating a lot of potato chips: tasted good going down, but didn’t leave me feeling nourished or fulfilled. I really didn’t start think about actually doing something about it until last month because you know what I had become really comfortable having conversations with people in that way. It felt foreign to talk about anything else and I would use the excuse of “We are just chilling out and relaxing.” Yet, I noticed that conversation after conversation would quickly turn from gossip to outright mean and super critical. Silly, funny gossip was the gateway for biting criticism and judging. I could even feel the shift when I was with friends. It would start off as laughing and giggling and then end up feeling exhausting and harsh.
I remember after one particularly scathing session, a friend of mine texted everyone and apologized. That was when I knew I had to make a change to because we were all part of the issue. Even sitting there in silence made me a part of this pattern. With the help of my husband I decided to do a 21 day challenge and not complain and we would support each other in our 21 day challenge. It originally started off as not complaining about my day job, but then it started to take root in other areas of my life. I found myself trying really hard to keep up conversation that actually made me feel good.
I’m at the point now where I have to learn how to deepen conversations even more but know that this will come with time and practice as I do it more in 2014.
What I know for sure is that habits that we don’t like so much can be changed if we commit to making really small shifts in our thoughts and actions.
Here’s to healthier conversations in 2013.
xo
K
kandicecole.com 
What a fantastic realization and bravo to you and your husband for working together to combat this habit! I focus on not gossiping at all, but it is challenging when we are amongst those who are gossiping. I need to get better at changing the subject and letting people know the intention beyond changing the subject.
So glad to visit you via Reverb13 today!
Thanks for visiting me today Julie! Let’s continue to be lights with our conversation 🙂
Great post – authentic and real. Loved your message about changing habits through conscious effort and practice – thank you!
Thank’s Christine for reading and reminding me its ok to share 🙂