Earlier this week, I posted this on Facebook:
“Your purpose is continuous. It is more than milestones and important dates that society has deemed worthy. Keep evolving. There is still so much life for you to live.”
For much of my life, I was keyed into milestones and accomplishments. Getting good grades, graduating from college, starting my teaching career, getting married, and so on. I thrived off of deadlines and dates. I had my checklist and I was getting it done!
Though I did “everything right” , I got to a point 6 years ago where I wasn’t fulfilled or inspired. I was in a space where I didn’t want to create or do things that brought me joy. I was going through the motions. In many ways, I had stopped evolving because I had bought into the idea that I had checked all my major things off my list according to societal standards. I had done what I was supposed to do, but not much of what I really desired to do.
What I knew was that I didn’t want to feel this way anymore. I saw other people out here thriving and enjoying life. I wanted that too. I wanted to be my most shiny, brilliant self even though I didn’t know how I was going to actually do that. I made a decision that I would evolve and and basically get reacquainted with myself. I made it my pursuit to become a student and unearth all this potential and energy that was inside of me.
This process has been ongoing for the past 6 years. I have worked with amazing coaches, done some individual work, worked in small groups, amongst other things. I am amazed at what I continue to discover about myself and the world around me. Even with all that growth, doing this work is hard at times because it is continuous. It doesn’t fit into perfect parameters and timelines like other things in my life. There are no deadlines to growth sometimes. On the flip side, it is freeing to have more space and less expectation to get it right.
This may resonate with you because so many of us feel like this. I get the feeling that you have checked things off your list. Maybe you went to school. Or got married, You had children. You bought the house. You got the dream job. Yet you still want more. Please remember that wanting more does not mean you aren’t grateful for your life, so no shame, okay?
You want more because you still have things inside of you to give to the world. You still want to continue to fulfill your purpose. There is more for you to do in this life than just go through the motions. Like I said in my Facebook post, your purpose does not end after a few milestones. Your purpose isn’t about graduation or wedding dates or job offer letters. These are pieces to the purpose puzzle but not the entire thing. You have to keep evolving and shining. You have to keep offering your gifts with love and care whether you have an audience of 1 or 1 million. You have to keep choosing what brings you joy. You get to be the truest expression of yourself. The world has more than enough space for your beauty and your unique perspective.
May you admire what you have accomplished thus far, and give yourself a clean slate to create what’s next.
Reimagine Self Care 
I remember getting to the “end” of my checklist having made the 6 figures, multiple degrees, traveled, the dream house, the job, the husband. I had actual true friendships! My self esteem strong, My relationship with God on track, I’d found myself, my identity set. I had done the work to even heal a few child hood scars! I was even dare I say, “happy”! I was a real Oprah/Iyanla! BUT i was unfulfilled. I remember having this deep sense of disappointment as I stood at the then pinnacle of my success realizing that on the other side of all this work is just more work. Everything we get has another level of discipline & wants more from us. The air was thin up here. I yearned to be free. Free time. Free to decide how I will spend my weekend. Free to not go, not commit. Free to disappoint. Free to not know the answer, not develop the solution & free to say no. Free to not care…. free to change. This article came at the hour & in the moment I so needed. I want to ingest more of my purpose to fill the hunger inside me!
This is so rich Tina! Your response resonates so much and confirms that this is a discussion we have to keep having. Thank you for reading!
Society is consumed with accumulating more but this often leads to less happiness. We must learn to be happy with the little things such as lyrics to a song, the breeze brush against our skin, and the comfort of laughter. Success is great, but the value of knowing your worth is better!
Totally agree! Sometimes the “more” that we want is so simple and right in front of us!