“I Don’t Know”. I found myself using this phrase more and more to avoid my desires and ultimately my truth. I believe that underneath “I don’t know” is a whole lot of knowing that we often don’t give ourselves enough credit for.
First things first. I want to share my story about when I recently decided to tackle a case of the “I don’t knows.”
Uncovering the Wisdom in “I Don’t Know”
1. What do you think you don’t know? : I ask this question first because I think it is important to honor how you feel. What I find, and you will see this later on, is that this changes once we own up to our wisdom. For right now, though it is important to put it out there and admit it without being ashamed. I was telling myself that I didn’t know how to deal with my finances.
2. Acknowledge what you do know. Take a sheet of paper and divide into 2 columns. In one column, jot down all that you do know about the issue that you are currently having. I realized that I knew: how much debt I had by adding it all up; how to make calls to creditors and bill collectors; that late payments would negatively affect my credit score; how to make a phone call; that I had to generate income to stay current with my bills; I could set up payment arrangements; and the list goes on. Get really specific about what you actually do know and it may surprise you a whole lot.
3. Get specific about what you don’t know. On the other side of the sheet of paper, get really specific about what you don’t know. I knew how to deal with my finances to some degree as was evident by what I did know. The specific thing I didn’t know was how to negotiate payment arrangements with creditors and ways to generate income to pay those late payments. Now this was still something heavy to deal with, but I was now looking head on at the specific thing that was blocking me from knowing.
4. Brainstorm the possibilities: Choose one of thing things you don’t know and brainstorm all the possibilities for how you might get to knowing it. Could you ask for advice, read a book, read blog posts, send an email, take a course? It’s so important to let our mind move from a place of fear to a place of possibility. We can guide our minds to really help us find solutions and not be a deer in the headlights. I found that as I did this I was allowing my fear to guide me to answers.
5. Take a step. One small step changes everything. Take a step towards understanding that specific thing you don’t know how to do or how to say. Sign up for the class. Send the email. For me the step was to answer the phone when one bill collector called so that I could get more concrete information about payment arrangements. I didn’t think past that step or making payments. My only goal was to get the conversation going.
6. Celebrate! When you take the small step, celebrate it hard core. I talked to a bill collector, and the conversation was so pleasant. Even if it hadn’t been pleasant I would have celebrated. One way I shared was by posting a status on Facebook and in some groups on Facebook. Celebrate that step so that you are inspired to take another!
7. Keep taking more steps. Keep taking one step at a time and following your wisdom. It’s amazing how these small steps can take you from “I have no idea” to “I got this!”
What are you having the “I don’t knows” about? How can you start uncovering your unique wisdom and knowing about this situation?
I would love to hear in the comments below or you can share with me one on one at kandicencole@gmail.com
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